When children grow up to survive the hypocricies of their parents and religion without repeating them or rebelling against them, they have accomplished a great thing.
Then they are free to create hypocrisies of their own.
Then they must find the wisdom to watch their own children fight to survive and use them to sovle their own problems. Guilt-driven parenting is nothing but selfishness.
When parents own their self-constructed hypocrisies of parenting and faith and find a compassionate and responsible way to deal with themselves, their children are freed to release their parents from condemnation and grow into their own hypocrisies and find compassion and responsibility in dealing with them.
Redemptive parenting is not summed up in perfection, but rather in the response the parent has to his or her own imperfection. Self-condemning parents create self-condemning children.
All that you do as a parent is a lesson plan, packaged and delivered. It is a lesson that cannot go unlearned. Parents fear this reality and become hypocrites. Then there will be a lesson about hypocrisy, about imprefection, about failure. What will that lesson be? Lie? Pretend? Intentional obliviousness? NO!
The lesson must be compassion, forgiveness, and redemption.