What does it mean when someone says, "It's a guy thing," or, "It's a girl thing." Or how about "It's a Black thing," or what about, "It's a God thing."
What is meant to be communicated by this "thing" language that seems to pop up in conversations?
And what about when people preface their opinions or responses with unusual disclaimers?
"Look, I'm not going to lie to you..."
"You won't believe this..."
"Now hear me out..."
"You're probably not going to believe me, but..."
What are we to make of these?
7 comments:
Someone recently postulated that the phrase, "It's a cultural thing" is the newest form of racism.
Not entirely sure if I agree, but I thought I'd throw it out there. :)
"Now don't take this the wrong way . . ."
Is there a right way to take what's coming next?
or, my favorite, "its nothing against you, but...."
Chris, it's just a linguistic thing.
In almost all conversations there are two components: a content component and a relationship component. We have to find ways to define and maintain our relationships as we communicate content. In particular, people in our culture seem to think it is important to find ways to show respect for differences.
Thats what most of the "thing" talk is about to me. Its a way of saying, "You and I are different, but that's okay. In fact, its kind of funny how we're different, isn't it?"
Likewise, requests to "hear me out" or a prefacing statement like "I'm not going to lie" are ways of seeking someone's patience while you try to deliver bad news. Its a way of pleading for "relationship" to remain intact while the content threatens to do damage.
Its a very interesting thing to observe. The best communicators are those who know how to skillfully maintain relationship in the same conversations where content is harsh/difficult. Others seem to have very limited means of coping with such challenges.
Matt, very well put.
Or...It's a good thing. (do I have to pay royalties for that?)
I have to be honest with you...
We were talking about this at the office and so much of it is from habit but now I wonder how much of what we say is just "filler".
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