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Thursday, January 05, 2006

Pain & Acceptance

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Pain is the measure of the distance between expectation and experience.

I meet a lot of people who experience pain because their experience does not match their expectation. This kind of failure to accept reality is tantamount to a willingness to self-destruct. When there is pain of this kind, blame is never, ever far behind. It has to be someone's fault that the expectation was not experienced.

The problem with blame is that it is like a drug. You get a little sumthin-sumthin from it, but the problem is left unresolved. And though blame brings with it temporary relief and a pseudo-absolved feeling, it doesn't have any wheels and actually perpetuates the experience of pain and further prevents any chance that the expectation could actually be met.

Acceptance is the cure to this pain. I'm not saying roll over and die and I'm not saying don't have dreams, desires, and goals. What I mean is that you can't have it all. Life does not work out how you want it to all the time. The freaking world does not orbit our ever-so-fragile expectations!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Acceptance makes you the kind of person people want to be around.

2 comments:

Karen said...

I'm hearin' you...

Beaner said...

BUT I DON'T WANT TO!!! *stomping feet on the floor*

OK - I get it, but how do you keep yourself from feeling like you're giving up? Should you lower your expectations or just have high expectations & learn to deal with it if they're not met?