Death Interrupted

Life is unpredicatable, as you all know. So is death. Last night it appeared that we would make a decision today. Today, we are in limbo. Although the improvements are minor, they are enough to make us take pause and not rush into a decision to end life support. Once life support is removed, there is no going back.

Also, as my father is able to respond with head shakes, we are deferring to his wishes as best as we can. He wants to live.

To pick up where the past post left off, he's afraid to die. It may be that his fear of death is what keeps him alive right now. His "I want to live" might not be as strong as his "I don't want to die." Although those might sound like the same thing, believe me, they are not.

On an emotional level, there is intermittent sadness interrupted by longer periods of "get-r-dun," sprinkled with "I wish I could do something that actually does something." My father has lots of siblings. Naturally they are welcome, but at the same time, my emotional bank is low on funds and I just need to get away now and again. Burger King was a good time out. It had a playland for the kids.