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Monday, January 09, 2006

Voting!!!!!!!!!!!!! 2005 BlogCoCs

Welcome to the 2005 BlogCoCs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You will notice that "ballots" have been placed in the sidebar. Feel free to vote for a SERIES and a TOPIC and then look at the totals.

Please vote only once for each category: SERIES and TOPIC. If you try to vote more than once, an ugly virus will ravage your hapless computer. Forget your antivirus and firewall, they are useless. Actually, the poll does not let you vote more than once. It knows who you are.

Trying to lobby people to vote for a certain series or topic is crazy. Encouraging people to vote in general is good. In fact, feel free to link here in your blog posts this week inviting people to come and vote.

Voting is open all week and will close Friday evening at 7:00 PM.

Do you need to take a look at the nomination again? Click here and do it.

Happy voitng and good luck.

And oh, the winner of the coveted BlogCoCs Series category will win a copy of my book.

2005 BlogCoCs Voting begins 10 Jan 2006

Voting will begin 10 Jan 2006 for the 2006 Blog CoC's. Click here to review the nominations.

The Bloggies, another blog award show (show?) is going on here. Go to that site to see well done awards for blogs. Actually, don't go there because you'll notice how ridiculous the BlogCoCs are.

I thought about the winner of the BlogCoCs getting an automatic nomination for he Bloggies, but tomorrow is the deadline. Nuts!

Look forward to your voting.
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I just nominated Mark Elrod for a Bloggie. Best New Weblog and best political blog.
Mike Cope is nominated for best topical blog.
Messy Christian is nominated for best Asian Blog.
Tall Skinny Kiwi for Best British Blog
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Nominations for the bloggies end today. Go nominate your favorite blogs.

Saturday, January 07, 2006

Pilgrim of Worship #6: What goes up must come down

Pilgrim of worship series begins here.
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During my third (and thankfully final) year in Houston, I decided to quit teaching at the end of the school year and go to grad school at ACU to pursue a degree in Marriage and Family Therapy - a very good idea. I had also been hearing about this very strange and exciting church in Abilene that was not just doing things differently, but that they were busting out of the box big time.

When I arrived on the scene, I was introduced to a cell church, a full blown worship team for the Sunday getherings, total freedom of worship expression, an openness to the Holy Spirit unlike anything I had ever experienced, genuine outreach to the poor and needy in Abilene - an actual mission church. I drank deeply of the intimacy in the house church, I dove into the worship times passionately, I took risks and borrowed the same boldness and courage that was modeled to me by the leaders of the congregation. I was swept away into the kind of chruch that was contagious. For that enntire year, I had never felt more at home in my worhsip with God and my church family.

I had finally found the perfect church.

And then it split.

Yes, it did, thus quickly disqualifying it from being the perfect church. This was a complicated split, too. Not that there are any simple church splits, but this one was really complicated, confusing, and rife with betrayal, deception, and what I like to call pentecostal power plays. Actually, split is too clean a word to use, it exploded and debris and carnage spread in every direction.

One of the ministers confessed a sin, an extra-marital relationship had gone too far - not all the way, but too far. He confessed in contrition. Needless to say, learning that one of the ministers in my church had sinned like this was disturbing, but not devastating. The following Sunday was the best Sunday of worship ever - bar none. As a body of 500 people, we celebrated, danced (on Sunday morning), worshipped, and cheered for the confession of this minister. He was welcomed with open arms of love and forgiveness and concern and generous doses of compassion. I never thought that forgiveness could be so sweet. I really loved my church. It was like , "See, church can be this good!"

And then the bomb dropped. Something happened, something sinister happened between redemption Sunday and the next Sunday - the Sunday from Hell. The minister was not at the worship gathering the next Sunday. Whispers had been churning about something run amuck during the week. When we arrived at the Sunday morning worship gathering, the anticipation was about ready to explode. We just knew that our leaders, whom we had learned to trust with all of our hearts, would straighten out everything for us. We knew that they would provide the clarity and relief we all needed.

Well, what happened was we got a vague and ambiguous word from the rest of the ministers and elders. The only thing that was clearly told to us was that the minister and his wife and children were disfellowshipped and we were not to speak to any of them under any circumstances without specific permission from the leadership - and there was this tone in their voices that said permission was not going to be given. Violating this order was equated with unfaithfulness to God and would show disrespect to the minister who was disfellowshipped (huh?). We wanted clarity that day. It's been 9 years and I still can't get a straight answer from some people - seriously.

The very same people who I had grown to trust more than anyone in the world, the people from whom I had learned courage and boldness, the same people who I had learned were full of God's Spirit and love were the same people who said things like:

"Don't question your leaders."
"God demands blind faith in your leaders."
"God is placing a new head on the church." (yes, be very confused)

My wife and I met many times with various leaders, elders, ministers and so forth. Everytime we did, we were not only more confused, we left feeling a sense of guilt for even having questions. We felt condescended to and pitied for our crappy little particles of faith.

We spent two more Sunday in worship there, mostly in shock. The unbelievable was crushed by the undeniable. The worship, though with all the same songs and energy, was bitter and felt wicked. I looked around the room of 500 worshipping people I used to trust now wondering, "Who's on my side?" "What are they thinking of me?" "Am I faithful?"

My best friend, as I learned only after a couple of conversations, was clearly on the polar opposite side. He was suddenly aloof and mysterious, evasive with my questions and frankly, arrogant. This is a friend I had born my soul to on more than a couple occasions. Now, I could not trust him. Nothing was as it seemed. Everyone was suspect.

The joy, the excitement, the thrill, the mission, the hope - all of it was choked out of me. I couldn't sleep at night. I couldn't talk to the people who used to give me comfort because they were the ones killing me. Eventually, I was "blessed to go elsewhere." That is a quote. Well, that's kind of like getting a joyful divorce. How could I mean so little to these poeple to be blessed to go elsewhere. I couldn't even use the word "blessed" for a year after that one with out it sounding like "screw you."

The next two years were the worst desert of worship of my life up to that point. I struggled to pray and to sing. I had really weird dreams that were eerily accuarate to what was happening and revealed people's motives to me, and gave me some comfort.

Just for the record, here is what helped:

1. The discipline of singing worship songs (many lament types of songs) when I felt like staying in bed or killing someone.

2. Mike Cope's voice on my answering machine asking if I needed a coke.

3. Diving into school work - it probably helped my GPA.

4. Knowing I could trust my wife.

5. Realizing that as much as it hurt, at least I was not the one causing the pain.

6. Finally meeting with the minster and his wife and seeing the relief on their faces when we convinced them that we really did love them and held nothing against them.

7. Meeting a second time with the minister and his wife, playing Boggle and eating home made doughnuts.

8. Learning that my faith was not my church, my leaders, of even my mission.

9. Learning that church worship is idolatry.

10. Learning that pain is an effective educator.

Friday, January 06, 2006

Happy Is A Yuppie Word

I am listening to Switchfoot's latest (Nothing Is Sound). It is deep, it is dark, it is hopeful. My favorite song right now is called, "Happy Is A Yuppie Word." Classic Switchfoot.

Their criticism of society is penetrating at times and pretty much disturbing. It would be depressing if it weren't so redemptive. I love these guys.

Their critique on happiness is excellent. The song begins with this light-hearted and encouraging line - "Everyone dies." But wait, hold on before you rush to buy the CD, there is more. "I'm running down a life that won't cash out." Ah, the madness behind their method actually has some sense to it. Then, in a classic Jesus-like twist of common sense, they bust out with "blessed is the man who's lost it all."

Hey, there is relief from the abundance of our endless and failed pursuits of happiness through things. The irony of the song is that happiness has been co-opted by yuppie-ness, the things that are completely incapable of providing it.

Losing all of the accumulated stuff is relief. That relief will be experienced as happiness.

Now I ma going to examine my yuppie-ness and see whatthere is to see. Thanks Switchfoot.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Pain & Acceptance

Last day for 2005 BlogCoC nominations. Click here.
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Pain is the measure of the distance between expectation and experience.

I meet a lot of people who experience pain because their experience does not match their expectation. This kind of failure to accept reality is tantamount to a willingness to self-destruct. When there is pain of this kind, blame is never, ever far behind. It has to be someone's fault that the expectation was not experienced.

The problem with blame is that it is like a drug. You get a little sumthin-sumthin from it, but the problem is left unresolved. And though blame brings with it temporary relief and a pseudo-absolved feeling, it doesn't have any wheels and actually perpetuates the experience of pain and further prevents any chance that the expectation could actually be met.

Acceptance is the cure to this pain. I'm not saying roll over and die and I'm not saying don't have dreams, desires, and goals. What I mean is that you can't have it all. Life does not work out how you want it to all the time. The freaking world does not orbit our ever-so-fragile expectations!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Acceptance makes you the kind of person people want to be around.

A Much Needed Mid Life Crisis

You can’t fake it forever. Every part of you so deeply hidden, so franticly avoided, so fiercely ignored will emerge into the light of day for everyone to see. Maybe it comes during adolescence, or perhaps it comes out in marriage. Some have this experience when the kids arrive. However, a great many people experience it during mid life.

Ah yes, you can see him in your mind right now. He’s the stereotyipical 40-something, baseball cap-wearing, head-balding, convertbile-driving, gotee-sporting, Mount Kilaminjaro-climbing, affair-having, I-can-do-what-I-want-because-I’m-mad-as-hell-and-I’m-not-going-to-take-it-anymore male. Mid life sneaks up on this guy, possesses him like a demon, and makes him act out his latent teenager fantasies that have been festering since Jenny Sizemore dumped him in the 10th grade.

Mid life is a curious stage. With mid life comes deeper insight into age. With mid life comes the awareness of one’s own mortality. The knees crack, the back is sore, and there is a faint ringing in the ears. Hair that once grew on the head now grows on the ears; an unusual follicle migration has occured. People grow heavier, but not taller. They can remember 30 years ago, but not yesterday. The adolescent sprint has become a middle aged long-distance run. Words like arthritis and old suddenly mean something and can be applied to oneself. People in mid life start to wonder if there is enough time to do everything they want to get done. The road behind is longer than the road ahead. The kids (now bigger, stronger, faster, and smarter than they are) are ready to vacate the nest, or might even be gone. The choices of the past have narrowed the options for the future. Weeks fly by faster than single days used to and is it already 2006?

In short, with mid life comes the realization that everyone dies and you are closing in on it.

So, mid life comes in with its awareness and realization and drives people into a neo-adolescent pattern of crazed self-destruction. Or does it? Does the onset of mid life produce this apparent temporary insanity? Could it be that there was a pre-existing, ever-present, and ongoing insanity that has finally found an outlet for itself in mid life?

Rather than mid life causing this lunacy, maybe it only expopses it. Think about it. Mid life moves a person into undeniable truths about life, aging, and death. Can a shallow person maintain his ruse with such wisdom, depth, and meaning pressing itself into his aura? How long can a person trifle along in life and get away with it?

For the person of depth, on the other hand, mid life is a welcome stage. Rather than trying to be not old, these solid and grounded people embrace the opportunities that age brings with it. A generous and benevolent spirit grows within them, realzing that the self-indulgent and superficial life they were never comfortable with anyway was a waste of time, just like they always thought it ways. So, in response to the realization that the clock is ticking, they use their position and resources to pass on wisdom and values to the next generation.

What is really happening with these deep people is the same thing that happens with the shallow people – their true self is revealed. So, mid life is only a crisis for the people who have accumulated a pile of life experiences that have shaped their character into something regrettable. Mid life is a meaningful and eagerly anticipated transition for the people who have accumulated a pile of life experiences that have shaped their character into somehing honorable.

Like I said, you can’t fake it forever. So, when the big reveal comes, make sure you’ve lived a life you don’t mind the world seeing.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Do you believe in miracles?

***Update***

Click here to see more about miracle abuse - hat tip Mark Elrod
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The first word was that 12 miners were alive and one dead. "Miracles happen in West Virginia!" was the mantra after hearing about the survivors.

A few hours later, it turned out to be just the opposite - one alive (barely) and 12 dead. Certainly a miracle that anyone survived, but not quite the miracle that was trumpeted. No miracle at all for the 12 families who thought they had a miracle on their hands.

I cannot imagine the rollercoaster these people have been on. May God be with the families who lost loved one in this tragedy.

Pondering on this tragic event, I thought about how Christians sometimes report miracles. Do we not sometimes get too excited and miscommunicate? Aren't we sometimes so hard up to prove God that we embellish the truth? We sometimes get so wrapped up in our agenda that we do whatever it takes to advance the agenda, though sometimes without integrity?

What happens when we overdo our story is that innoculate people against it. Our evangelism can become the anti-christ.

When we speak for or about God, we must be honest. I believe in miracles, but I am also very sensitive to how I communicate them. A miracle is not meant to force someone into love with God and never to advance a human agenda. Miracles for the sake of fund-raising is crazy.

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Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Lies About Sex

My Pilgrim of Worship series is poised to re-up soon. In the meantime I have launched "Lies About Sex" over at Christian Parenting.

Monday, January 02, 2006

Update: 2005 BlogCoC Awards

Nominations are still rolling in for the 2005 Blog series or topic from Church of Christ bloggers or about Churches of Christ. Now, just so everyone knows, the prestige involved with winning or even being nominated for a 2005 BlogCoC is on par with the award I once won at Flaming Pine Youth Camp which was the "Fastest Thing on Four Feet" award - Black Shaprie on White paper plate. Apparently I won this award before I was recognized as a human. I believe it was camp policy that everyone got an award.

So, if you have been nominated and feel a welling sense of pride for your blogging skills or e-notoriety, please consider calling Dr. Laura or appearing on Dr. Phil and tell them about your past. That ought to settle down your overactive sense of self-importance :-)

This post is up to date, so far as I know, on nominations sent my way. Nominations will close at midnight, Jan 6th, 2006 Central Standard Time. Voting will being shortly thereafter. I am still working out a "how-to" on voting. I want it to be easy and intuitive.

If you have a nomination, please make it in the comments section or e-mail me.

You may or may not be familiar with the series or topics nominated. I have linked Series as best I can and to the main pages of the bloggers. For the Topics I linked no one since they were created by the blogging of many.

Here are the current Nominations:

Series:
1. Emerging Church of Christ - Wade Hodges
2. Smells Like Church Spirit - Chris Gonzalez
3. The Influence of Creation and Eschatology on Worldview and Mission. - Adam Ellis
4. The Poetry of the Trinity - Phil Wilson
5. The Little Box - Bobby Cahoon
6. The Seamy underbelly of preahcing (and blogging?) - Bren Hughes
7. David - John Alan Turner
8. Liberation from Family Pain - Thomas Stewart
9. Katrina and Church Ordeals - John Dobbs
10. There Goes Jesus, Messing With Traditions Again - Rusty Peterman
11. Imperfect Churches - Rusty Peterman

Topics:
1. "Church of Christ bloggers help remove Anne Coulter from Harding University Speakers Series"

2. Bloggers wrestle with "Christian Affirmation"

3. "Youth In Action youth rally goes to Hattiesburg, MS for Katrina relief."


A quick note: Hoot Musings bemoans a C of C only award for blogging. I concur, but not enough to change the mo here. One of the reasons I picked a C of C blog award was partly self-depricating (don't we have a history of taking ourselves just a little too seriously?) and partly because there are enough other kinds of blog awards out there.

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Not Sophisticated

I am not sophisticated and I can prove it.

1. The difference between opera and angry yelling is completely lost on me.

2. Pepperoni pizza or lobster? Crap, what do I do?

3. Josh Groban? Who's Josh Groban?

4. Wrangler jeans is casual while khakis is dressed to the nines.

5. Does it really matter that my hair is combed? It's not in my eyes for crying out loud!

6. If it were not for Wal-Mart and Target, I would not know where to buy clothes.

7. $100 is too much to pay for a suit.

8. What side of the plate does the fork go on?

9. I think my plain, thin wedding band is bling.

10. I think I'm smart for not getting tricked into buying a vehicle with a Hemi.