Friday, May 16, 2008

Reflections On Trust

I am sure that most people would agree that trust is a very important part of a relationship. Whether it be between romantic partners, friends, parents and children, or individuals and organiztions, trust is essential for good relational functioning. Good communication, closeness, knoweldge of the other, and kindness are all important as well. But I think trust is different.

In relationships, trust acts more like an operating system than a regular piece of software. If trust "crashes," everything else is not going to work right if it works at all. Trust is integrated into every other aspect of a relationship. Without it, the other aspects of the relationship, the other relationship software, does not run.

Thus, I believe trust is more important, more basic, more foundational than any other relationship quality.

Any thoughts on trust in relationships by the geniuses?


Keith Brenton said...

I was gonna say something, but I got scared away by "the geniuses."

john alan turner said...

I'm not a genius, but I play one most Sunday mornings in front of my congregation.

I had a conversation w/ someone over lunch yesterday about the issue of trust. It seems that any time you have a gap between what you expect and what you experience (I expected Chris to do this, and instead he did that), I can fill that gap w/ either trust or suspicion.

When I am living w/o margin, I am more likely to give in to my anxiety and fill that gap w/ suspicion.

paul said...

"Without faith (trust) it is impossible to please God..."

That sounds pretty foundational. As I minister to single again adults "trust" seems to be the most difficult issue to restablish in order to form healthy relationships. When trust is broken it is difficult to recover.

In theory, trust is "earned" over time. Faithfullness helps but it is a personal decision to trust someone else. It can't be forced upon us. We must decide to trust. When we do that we make ourselves vulnerable to all kinds of pain. For those seeking true love, however, all the heartache endured along the way is well worth the rewards of a loving relationship!