Desperately Seeking Jesus

Peter said, "You are the Christ."
Jesus whipped out the keys to the Kingdom and said, "Here ya go."

Peter said, "You're not gonna get killed. I won't let it happen."
Jesus said, "Dude, back off, you remind me of Satan."

Peter said, "I love you."
Jesus said, "Yeah, we're pretty decent friends, aren't we?"

Peter said, "I'll die for you."
Jesus said, "You're about to ditch me."

Peter said, "I got no where else to go."
Jesus said, "You Rock."

OK, so I've done some interpreting and some cutting and pasting, but preachers do this all the time, so I don't feel bad about it.

Peter, though he was in the very presence of Jesus in flesh and blood, was seeking Jesus. Peter did not have the 2000 years of church history to cut through to get to Jesus. He had Him right there. They hugged; they kissed.

Yes, Peter had his Jewish history to cut through, so maybe we're more alike than I think, but here is the point:

If Peter, who stood with Jesus, touched him, walked with him, and was mentored by him still sought after him, then what right do I have to believe that I have some corner on the Jesus market? How could I ever believe that I know Jesus - know him in such a way that I need not know him any deeper, broader, higher...etc?

I have no right to take comfort in my "comprehensive" knowledge of Jesus. All I can do is get to know him better - which frankly, isn't so bad. In fact, if I knew everything about Jesus, I might just ditch him.

I want to develop a better relationship with him.
I want to be friends with Jesus.
I want to love Jesus.
I want to believe Jesus.
I want to trust Jesus.
I want to get vulnerable with Jesus.
I want to find Jesus in places I fear.
I want to crucify fake Jesus.
I want to abandon all that contaminates my love for Jesus.
I want to forget that there are other options.
I want to remember Jesus is freedom.
I want to smell like Jesus.

I am desperately seeking Jesus.