Although I do not get specific instructions and a whole lot of indication of what God wants or what I should do, I can’t seem to get away from this God. He never stops communicating. Everywhere I go I can see what this God is up to. At least that is the meaning I have learned to assign to things.
When I ponder the hugeness of the galaxies and the distance between stars or when I explore the smallness of chemical and neurotransmitters between my nerve cells, I am amazed. When I see something grow I wonder how it grows. I wonder why it grows. Science has some responses to all this, but it does not hold the answers. Science does its best with the tools it has, but it fails to get to why things happen. Science is just a way to ask questions.
Being amazed at something is a curious state. Why am I amazed? Even if there is a neurotransmitter that can be assigned to the experience of amazement in a human, what does that matter? Why does it happen? Why am I taken by a sunrise, the clouds pink and orange? Why am I so very curious about the roley poley bug and the little sphere it can curl into when threatened? How does a roley poley bug know it is threatened? Why am I so taken with black holes? Why do I want to know where they lead?
Now, I do not believe the state of amazement is any sort of proof of God. There are all sorts of ways to narrate amazement. But I do believe that God has got to be in play. It is the narration that makes sense to me. Creation, whether through a rapid 6 days initiation or a slow billions of years unfolding, is to me an amazing communication from God. It is not God merely whispering, but God demonstrating in a massive presentation his identity.
When I ask God what do you want? it is sort of like I am interrupting what He was already saying. He was already answering the question before I asked it. I wonder if God is revealing Himself always and His answer is that He wants me to 1) know Him through his intimate revelation of Himself through creation, and 2) for me to be as intimate with Him as He is with me.