Yo, I'm back

I spent the past week in Minnesota at an orientation at the University of Minnesota. I will be entering the doctoral program in Family Science this Fall. Met profs, current students, and other prospective students (I'm not prospective because I've already made up my mind).

Entering this program is my dream come true. Minnesota's program is one of the (if not the) best Family Science program in the country. What I find so amazing is that I tricked the entire faculty into admitting me. I fear I'll get busted this Fall when they realize everyone else they admitted is much, much smarter than I am .

So, I got into a discussion with a professor about religious teens who are dealing with their sexuality - specifically sexual orientation. Well, that is not the conversation I had intended on getting into, but I have to say that it was a good conversation.

I couldn't sleep that night. I kept thinking about the assumptions that go into human sexuality when it involves sexual orientation.

Religious conservatives tend to assume the choice theory. This is a behavioral approach that skips along the surface. It's wrong, you do it, so you are sinning. What else needs to be said? Yes, it can get very fundamentalist very fast.

Secular liberals tend to assume the genetic theory - born that way. If you are attracted to someone of the same sex, then you are gay - end of discussion. This can get just as fundamentalist as the religious conservatives.

So, my thinking on that late and sleepless night went this way: What if there are varying states of sexual development at various times in a person's life which are unique to each person?

Let's break that down a little:

1. Various states of sexual development - What if some people are solid in their sexuality? This would mean that there is no chance that whatever their sexuality is could ever change. However, we know this not to be true of all people because some straight people turn gay and some gay people go straight. So, some people might be fluid in their sexuality and orientation. Still further, some people might be diffuse (like a gas) and be highly reactive and erratic ion their sexuality.

2. Various times - Could it be that there are various times in some people's lives where their sense of sexuality and orientation could perhaps be swayed one way or another? Certainly this would not be true of people who are "sexually solid." But people who are fluid or diffuse (or at a fluid or diffuse stage) could go one way or the other depending on their context, who they find credible, and other factors. So, a person might be sexually solid for years, but then move into a fluid stage in their life as it relates to sexuality, and then there is the chance that their orientation might shift some or even change all together.

3. Unique to each person - Let's say there are different states of sexual orientation development and there are different times that these stages can or do occur, that does not mean it happens the same for each person. One person might be solid from cradle to grave while someone else might be fluid, but only during adolescence. Another might be diffuse, but only when within this or that context.

Ultimately, it comes down to the classic nature versus nurture question. Gay affirmative proponents tend to land on the nature side while gay-negative proponents tend to side with nurture.

I would love to hear what you think on this topic.