So I'm jogging this morning, suffering badly because something's wrong in my gut, and this thought bubbles to the top.
"My wife is perfect for me."
Now, we're knocking on the door of 9 years of marriage, and I have known from day one that I married the right woman. I have had no regrets, no second thoughts, and no questions. It has been right always. I have had the unusual luxury of a very good marriage. For this I am most grateful. I thank God regularly for this.
So what gives with this "revelation?" I mean, I have known this for a long time. Why did it feel like something new when it was not at all new information?
For right now, my best guess is that I am coming to realize that my wife is the safest place in the world. This is at least part of the answer to the mystery. What a comfort to know that there is a safe place in this world. It's reassuring and humbling. Extravagant safety. How many people really get that?
Oh God, thanks for this wonderful gift.
Any of you married people out there ever get a "revelation" about your spouse after being married a while? I'd love to hear about it.
6 comments:
My revelation after 35 years of marriage is that we are one!
We are so close. We've grown and changed and our love seems the same, only strong and yet we are so different than years ago. Maybe that is what maturity does?
We "sense" each other but we never stop knowing each other. Just because we are safe and good with each other, we don't allow ourselves the luxury of not knowing each other. So....we continue to grow together and becoming one together. We are two but we are one. (Is this the new math?) We are individuals but we function best when we are together. We are not alike, but we are side by side, thinking together.
Isn't it great when God forms two to become one and they like each other? I thank God everyday for my mate and know that He depends on me to work everyday, every minute to make it work and keep it working. Thank you God for your power that allows us to like each other always.
Congrats on your nine years and may God grant you many more.
Nine years seems like a long time, but it is only a vapor. I look forward to the next 35 years and more.
Actually, this revelation came while we were dating. Angi was in the process of filing for divorce when we met, and she was not the happiest person I had ever encountered. Still, I was very attracted and she said "yes" to a couple of date offers.
But one weekend her mom came to visit, and as I saw them sitting a couple of pew-rows ahead of me at church, and a voice inside my head said very clearly, "You could be very happy, married to this woman for the rest of your life."
Fifteen years in December.
I fell in love with Leslie so gradually that when I realized what was happening it hit me like a freight train. I was literally on my knees and prayed, "God, I want this man. But only if it's okay and You give him to me. But I really want him!"
(And He said yes, because He'd planned the whole darn thing.)
So every day I wake up next to this gift. Sometimes I don't always feel the "Wow! What a great gift, Jesus!" but the Lord always reminds me.
This man, this marriage, this unity - it's a blessing with a deep and good responsibility. I don't think that God gives us gifts in this life just so we can sit back and take it easy. His graces are to be lived and shared and used to inspire all we meet.
I don't think of my marriage so much as "work" but as a vocation, a spiritual calling. One that we have accepted joyfully and long to share the joys of with others.
We're just into our third year.
Yes, I know exactly what you mean! I feel very safe and at home with my husband. I would be crazy to give him up. CRAZY!!! I feel so fortunate and blessed to be in a marriage that brings me joy. Thank you Lord!
My aha moment came as I watched my wife going about her day. It occurred to me that I couldn't keep my eyes off of her. I find her presence intoxicating and am still stirred emotionally and physically when she enters the room.
She intrigues me as much today as she did 18 years ago when I saw her for the first time.
I fell in love with Leslie so gradually that when I realized what was happening it hit me like a freight train. I was literally on my knees and prayed, "God, I want this man. But only if it's okay and You give him to me. But I really want him!"
(And He said yes, because He'd planned the whole darn thing.)
So every day I wake up next to this gift. Sometimes I don't always feel the "Wow! What a great gift, Jesus!" but the Lord always reminds me.
This man, this marriage, this unity - it's a blessing with a deep and good responsibility. I don't think that God gives us gifts in this life just so we can sit back and take it easy. His graces are to be lived and shared and used to inspire all we meet.
I don't think of my marriage so much as "work" but as a vocation, a spiritual calling. One that we have accepted joyfully and long to share the joys of with others.
We're just into our third year.
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