What Your Anxiousness is Telling You
Everyone feels anxious sometimes; some more than others, but
the reality is that everyone knows what anxiety feels like. Anxiousness is
often thought of as a bad thing, something to get rid of. Of course people
think anxiety is a bad thing - it feels terrible. However, most people misread
their own anxiety and it leads to some misconceptions:
1) Anxiety is bad and needs to be eliminated
2) I am anxious and therefore something is wrong with me
3) I feel anxiety therefore I need therapy or medication.
Rather than uncritically seeking to eliminate the feeling of
anxiety, how about looking at it differently in order to learn what it might be
saying?
Here are a few things to know about your own anxiousness:
It’s normal. Feeling anxious is normal. In general,
feeling anxious is the result of your brain telling your body to prepare for
something. Some people feel anxious in the morning as they get ready for work
or school. It makes sense. Something is going to be required of you shortly and
you need the energy to engage whatever that situation is. In preparation, your
brain releases various chemicals to give your body the energy to engage the
tasks of the day. It is normal.
It’s helpful. Anxiousness is often energy that has
yet to be directed into something meaningful, productive, or constructive.
Oftentimes simply engaging in that which the brain has prepared the body
for accesses that anxious energy and the anxious feelings resolve. Do not
wait for the anxious feelings to leave before getting productive; instead, get
productive to make the anxious feelings go away. And if you have not connected
the dots yet, procrastination actually leads to increased levels of anxiety
even though it is hoped to decrease them.
It speaks. Sometimes people feel anxious when they do
not have some regular thing in front of them like a job or school. When the
anxiety is not resolved in work or school or routine of life, then it might be
telling you something. Perhaps you have forgotten to do something that is not
part of your usual routine – mom’s birthday is coming up, need to return that
email, didn’t get all the planning done for vacation, or need to fit that oil
change in somehow. Anxiousness speaks and it is good to listen.
It’s manageable. If you take a few minutes each
morning, evening, or midday, whenever the anxiousness pays a visit, to take 10
slow deep breaths, you will be surprised at how much of the anxiousness is
resolved. If you combine that with allowing all muscles to relax, it is almost
restful. It doesn’t always completely eliminate the anxiety, but it does bring
calm. Really? How? Deep breathing floods the bloodstream with oxygen, which
gives a physiological calming effect to the body.
When you think different about your anxious feelings, you can actually leverage the anxious energy toward a useful end. Developing a friendship with those anxious feelings and working them to your advantage is a much better use of thought energy and the anxiousness itself. Don’t let yourself get caught in the worrying about worrying trap. It’s a psychological black hole. Instead, engage it, listen to it, and manage it.
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