I am not a person by myself

I take my paint

            And my make-up

            And my brains

            And my muscles

            And my avatars

            And my Twitter handle

And I keep telling the world who I am

            Who I want them to know I am

            Who I wish they would believe I am

            Who I hope someone might get fooled and think I am

                        Someone I don’t even believe exists

                                    But seems better than…

Better than that one in the mirror

Because the mirror can get so lonely

            When there is a stranger looking back

I need your love

            I need it directly from you

            I need it indirectly, flowing through people around me

How in Hell am I supposed to know who I am

            In the Hell of isolation?

            In the Hell of apartness?

            In the Hell of all by myselfness?

            In the Hell of secrecy and hiddenness and loneliness

I am not safer by myself;

I am not even a person by myself.

Help me build me in you and in those you put around me