Wednesday, February 18, 2009

I just do not understand

Some very dear friends of mine just lost their son. He got a MRSA infection and in less than two weeks he was gone.

I can't get my mind around this loss. The great desire is to ask, to scream "Why?" And yet there is no hope for an answer. And if there were an answer, would it do any good? No.

I am deeply saddened. My friend's lives are changed forever. A huge piece of their lives, with a million little strings attached to him, is gone, and now those million little strings hang, they dangle loosely with no tension.

I want to be with them, but they are 1000 miles away. I don't know what I could do were I to be there, but I know that is where I want to be. I thinking about making a trip.

The thought keeps piercing my heart...he's gone. I resist. My disbelief fights so hard for credibility, and yet sets itself up for pain. He is gone. Nothing in me wants to believe this, but I have no choice. It's like I want to say, "he's not gone, it must be something else," but it isn't ever going to be something else. Everything has come to a screeching halt.

Death is so imposing, unrelenting, and cruel. It only takes. It gives nothing - ever.

It is times like these that make the resurrection story so appealing. It is the only hope. If we could see things from the other side, it might look differently. We might see death as a mediator between life and LIFE. And yet we must cling to the life that there is here, for it all we have access to. And we must accept that death, for whatever reason, gets a say so.

God, please surround my friends with people who can tolerate their intense grief, embrace their souls, people who are tireless and wise. Put people in their lives who can take care of menial tasks, who will cook the food and clean their house. Bless them with hope. Let them lean on their faith with the weight of their pain and doubt...and find their faith bouyed by something true. Please show yourself to them in their darkest hour. Let them cry in your presence.


Steve said...

What a terrible tragedy, especially in these days when most of us would be dead but for the many marvelous wonders of medical science. And we are accustomed and used to it now. Recently in a conversation with senior loved ones we recalled and recited how we had been saved. Sorry to hear of this sad event but am glad you communicated it to us.

Len said...

I read on Caring Bridge today that you were going to the funeral.
Yesterday, my heart was breaking for his parents as I read the many prayers and posts on the website.
I wish I could attend, but it just isn't possible.
Give his dad my love, too.