Send Me To Ghana

Want to help me go to Ghana and work with Touch a Life and Connor's Song? Here is how you can help.

1. Prayer support: Please pray for these organizations, the children they serve and for me as I prepare for this trip.

2. Financial Support: Three ways to do this (A & B are tax deductible):
    A. online: Click here and then click on "give" and fill out the information. My trip name is          "Ghana (Psych)"
    B. Snail Mail: Check pay to order of "Lipscomb University" ||| memo Gonzalez Ghana (Psych) ||| mail to Lipscomb University Missions One Univerity Park Dr. Nashville, TN 37204
    C. Purchase books from the sidebar on this blog and I get 4% - all of which will go to this trip.

3. Social Media: Follow me on twitter (@fajitaboy), share my posts on facebook, link to my blog, and follow videos on youtube.

Ghana: Why go there?

(Click here to support this mission)

Why go to Ghana West Africa?

It is a question I have been asking my self for a couple months. It is a deep question – complex and multi layered. Here are a few of the things that motivate me on this trip. Some of these motivations are more pure and some are somewhat more self-indulgent. I will be transparent. I share these motivations for a couple reasons. One is that I want you to be “on this trip” with me as much as you can from wherever it is you live. Another reason is that some people consider trips of this kind, but get muddled by their motives (am I doing the right thing for the wrong reason?) and end up passing on something great. I have come to realize that I will never have all the right motivations to do anything good, but that does not have to stop doing good.

Anyway, what follows are brief insights into what is motivating me, for better and for worse. Each of these runs much deeper as this is simply an overview.

1. I was asked. Back in late Fall of 2012, my friend, Nan Deal, called me and point blank asked me to go to Ghana. When a friend asks you to do something meaningful and important, when she says that you have to offer is what is needed, it is hard to refuse. Plus, Nan’s passion is kind of contagious.

***Social science geek alert*** In my research on volunteering I learned that the number one predictor of people deciding to volunteer was that they were asked to volunteer. Seems simple, but the reality is that many people never get asked. They are willing and have the resources, but need a catalyst. Nan was my catalyst for this trip.

2. Friendship. Piggybacking on point 1 is that I have a deep and long friendship with Ron and Nan Deal. We became friends back in 2001. We have walked the road of joy together and shared in grief together. Shared experiences with good friends seem to gain in value over time, like wine, I suppose.

When their son Connor died from an unexpected infection, they lived in Amarillo, Texas and we lived in Burnsville, Minnesota. We drove down for the funeral because 1000 miles is not too far to be with friends in their grief. The work in Ghana is how Ron and Nan focus their grief energy. Their ministry is called, Connor’s Song. The song of his life is alive in this effort. How could I say no?

3. History. In 1996, I was at a fork in the road. I would be a marriage and family therapist or I would be a missionary. I could not make up my mind. I asked God to help me see my way forward, but I got nothing. I wanted a Moses style burning bush (yes, I need it to be that obvious), but heaven was silent. I decided place this life decision in the hands of the MFT admissions committee at Abilene Christian University (thus proclaiming my abdication of responsibility for this decision). I was accepted to the program and my life took a turn away from missions and toward MFT. It felt like a “no” to missions. 

And yet this missionary call in my life kept a slow burn with an occasional flare up as the winds of mission would whip up. Although I have done good things locally that most certainly would be considered missions and have supported others on their mission work, the passion burns still.

In a sense, this trip to Ghana begins a redemption of sort. It is not that I made a wrong choice to go the route of MFT (I would never have met Ron and Nan otherwise), but rather a different pathway. Where I wondered whether God has said “no” to missions, perhaps the answer was “wait.” Or more likely it was, “You will not be mature enough to handle it for about a decade and a half.”

4. Privilege. This is a tough one for me. My parents were high school educated, working class Americans, fighting hard to qualify as middle class. During my childhood, my father was a janitor and paper route driver and my mother had several jobs – child care, paper route driver, and server at Carbone’s Pizza (yes, occasional free pizzas was a nice perk here). It was all they could to make ends meet.
My mother would say we were privileged because of God’s love for us – status and money were irrelevant. She would be right.

I have this rare blessing in the history of the world – to be a university professor at an American university. Though I am not getting rich in cash, I am rich in status, opportunity, and training. Learning how to understand what this means, especially in the family context form which I came, is not always a simple task. My family system has no historical hooks on which to hang this life I am living.

One thing I know is this, if I do not leverage the opportunities of my training and position toward service I have missed out the best and most important part of having such a unique privilege.
In short, this trip is helping to SAVE ME FROM the many pitfalls and obliviousness that privilege creates. The seduction of privilege being self-indulgent is great and nuanced and almost invisible.

5. Guilt. Related to privilege is guilt. Why me? I did not choose to be born in America. I did not choose to be intellectually, physically, emotionally, and spiritually capable of being where I am now. I am blessed, got lucky, or something. Almost every single aspect of me being situated where I am in life had absolutely nothing to do with me.

I could be a child slave just as easily as I could be a university professor, were I born into a different family in a different culture and in a different geography. I live in an unfair situation. I have so much privilege that I could ignore most every pain in the world and not even feel an impact on my life. What is fair about that?

Yes, I feel guilt. Yes, this trip will be a small salve on this guilt – I think. What I hope it does is to provide perspective and improved motivation to do more of this kind of mission.

Guilt is not the best motivation and should never be the only motivation, but I would not be honest to deny that it is there.

6. Adventure. I have been so eager to get a chance to do something I have never done before. Although everything I do the first time meets this criteria, this trip takes it to a whole new level.
Part of this motivation is to see whether I can even do it. I am 43 years old this week and feel the beginnings of decline in some aspects of my life (e.g. if I sprint I will probably pull a muscle). For the rest of my life I will be asking, “Can I do this”  AND “Can I still do this?” It will be so rewarding to know I can and so informative to learn I can’t. It’s win/win.

I reflect on the wise words of one of my mentors, Al Ogren, a founder of my favorite places on earth, Flaming Pine Youth Camp. Al has been retired for several years now, but still goes on the five mile hike through the Northern Minnesota forest. He looked at me a couple years ago and said, “Chris, do you know why I still go on the hike?” “No, why do you still go on the hike?” I answered. He conjured a familiar and knowing smile and said, “I still go on the hike to see if I can still go on the hike.” How did he know how much I needed to hear that?

7. Example. I want my children to see and to experience mission before they go to college. Although they are not joining me on this trip, plans are brewing for their participation in the future.

Plus, my goal for next year is to make a mental health missions travel course out of this trip. I want to expose students to a new world, a new way of understanding their training, and a new view of their privilege. I am situated to influence students – and everything I do influences them somehow. What better way to leverage this place I am in than share experiences with students?

8. Ghana. I am learning about Ghana. The more I learn the more I am inspired. As I see it now, before arriving and experiencing, Ghana is a national of contrasts. It has a rich culture of music (e.g. high life music) and is deeply religious. It has educational opportunity and is rich in some natural resources. It is politically stable as best I can tell. There is a lot strenght and beauty in Ghana. I have the feeling that once I get there, it will be easy to find much to love.

At the same time, there is widespread poverty and limits to access to healthcare and education. Many live on less than $1.25 per day (e.g. how can that even be done?). Poverty has lead to the terrible practice of child slavery. There is widespread abuse of children in this way. Inside the forced labor is physical, emotional and sexual abuses.

As much as there will be to love, there will be much that will break my heart.

Well, that is a brief (really? you call that brief?) thumbnail of some of what motivates me to go on this trip to Ghana. I am sure that once I meet the children there, they will become a direct motivator for me to return. I am sure I will grow in attachment to this group more and more and more. I cannot wait to meet the team that will be there.
I hope my motives are purified on this trip, but even if they are not, good can be done in spite of me.

(Click here to support this mission)

Send Me To Ghana

Dear Family and Friends,

 

Greetings! I pray that this letter finds you well. I am half way through my third year as a professor at Lipscomb University in the Psychology Department. This year we launched a new Masters of Marriage and Family Therapy program and I was appointed director. It is an exciting and humbling time in my life. I am grateful to God for where I am situated in life right now.

One of the most exciting things happening is that I have been invited to participate in an amazing opportunity and I want to invite you to participate with me. In the Fall of 2012, I was invited by my good friend, Nan Deal, to participate in an amazing opportunity with an organization called, Touch a Life (touchalifekids.org). This organization operates in Ghana, West Africa to rescue and care for child slaves. Child slavery is a significant problem in Ghana, where a child can be sold into slavery for as little as $20. Touch a Life partners with another amazing organization called Connor’s Song (connorssong.com) to use art and play therapy at therapeutic art center to help heal the traumas of child slavery.

Specifically, I have been asked to provide evaluation and assessment of the current clinical and mental health capacity for the care facility. Along with a highly skilled Play Therapist, Dee Kernodle, I will evaluate the level of trauma of the children in the care facility, make recommendations for immediate and long term care, and help to develop a model for care for rescued child slaves after they have been rescued and provided basic needs (food, shelter, clothing etc).

On March 15^th, I will depart for Ghana with the entire trip lasting 10 days. I will join Dee Kernodle and a whole team of people with various roles. During these 10 days, I will:

 

·         Observe operations;

·         Engage with the staff and with the children;

·         Consult with Dee concerning assessment and evaluation as well as developing recommendations;

·         Visit Lake Volta, the place where thousands of children work as slaves

·         Assess the future potential for graduate Marriage and Family Therapy students to visit Touch A Life and Connor’s Song and provide training and clinical services. 

 

It is big task and I am honored to be invited to be a part of it. But I know that I cannot do this alone. So I am inviting you to join this effort in three important ways: Prayer Support, Financial Support, and Social Media Support. Please join with me in as many of these three ways as you can. The chart on the next page gives more details on how we can team together to benefit rescued child slaves.

The trip is being funded entirely through donations to cover travel, lodging, food, and other travel related costs (e.g. immunizations). It is estimated the total cost will be $2500. If more money is donated than is needed, all overage will go to support the work at Connor’s Song (the therapeutic art center in Kumasi, Ghana). Accounting of funds available upon request. All financial support is considered a charitable donation as Lipscomb University has not for profit status – you may deduct donations from your taxes.

I thank you in advance for your prayer support, your financial support, and your social media support.

 

Peace,

 

Chris J. Gonzalez, Ph.D., LMFT

One University Park Dr.

Nashville, TN 37204

615.966.6651

Chris.gonzalez@lipscomb.edu

Blog: http://homefront.blogspot.com

Twitter: @fajitaboy

Youtube: youtube.com/fajitaboy1

Facebook: facebook.com/fajitaboy

 

Prayer Support:

·         Add me to your prayer list:

o    Be prepared mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually

o    Successfully accomplish the mission

 

·         Touch A Life http://www.touchalifekids.org

·         Connor’s Song http://www.connorssong.com

·         Pray for the children of Ghana who are still enslaved

 

Financial Support:

·         CHECK

o   Pay to order of: Lipscomb University

o   Memo: Chris Gonzalez

o   Mail to:

§  Lipscomb University

§  Missions Department

§  One University Park Dr.

§  Nashville, TN 37204

 

·         CREDIT CARD / ONLINE ***Starting Jan 15th***

o   STEP 1: http://www.lipscomb.edu/Missions

o   STEP 2: Click on “Give to a mission trip”

o   STEP 3: Fill in information and selection trip name “Ghana (Psych)”

 

·         PURCHASES

o   All amazon purchases made through my blog earn 4%. All earnings until departure will go toward the mission effort.

·         EBOOK

·         “Running Away From Home” is a memoir I will publish soon on the kindle format. All proceeds (70%) help this mission effort.

 

Social Media Support:

·         Blog: http://homefront.blogspot.com

·         Facebook: friend me

·         Twitter: @fajitaboy

·         Youtube: youtube.com/fajitaboy1

 

 

 

Christmastide

And the tasks of the season,
Both expected and unexpected,
Now jockey for soulspace,
Fighting in desperation to become real memories,
Like puppies fighting to nurse,
And the satisfied,
And the tired,
Mother does not bother to say,
"There is enough,"
For there is always enough -
And these baby memories will grow,
Into joy,
Into hope,
Into peace,
Into love.
We will say, "remember,"
And these full grown memories
Will bark,
Will yalp,
Will howl.

For in the resolution of Christmastide,
We no longer execute the tasks,
For they have been accomplished,
Rather, we accomplish the final task,
And we do not wait,
We do not toil,
We do the only thing left that we can possibly do.

We assign meaning;
It is the food of memories.

Provision and welcome: A prayer

Oh God, this road you have given us -
What joys, what sorrows;
A life of constant response;
Though mysterious, is not unknown;
Though unpredictable, is not random;
Though challenging, is the road of ease.
Oh God, this road you have given us.

We ask for all we need on this road;
When temptation seduces, give us wiser souls;
When anxiety threatens, give us peace-filled souls;
When anger sears, give us thoughtful minds;
When guilt burdens, give us grace-filled hearts;
When distraction points, give us steady eyes;
When despair oppresses, give us hopeful hands;
When doubts clouds, give us faithful hearts.
We ask for all we need on this road.

We ask for all we need on this road;
When we have plenty, let us share;
When we have success, let us celebrate;
When we are together, let us embrace;
When we have are songs, let us sing;
When we have stories, let us speak;
When we have talents, let us shine;
And when there is a new day, let us give thanks for every one of them;
We ask for all we need on this road.

We ask for all we need on this road;
For nothing is safe and little is good;
For your promises are true and your redemption sweet;
For pain is instructive and pleasure a balm;
For each loss sets a part of our soul into eternity;
For each experience is an act of creation;
For this road is short and we will walk it once;
For we must leave meaning to those who will come later;
We ask for all we need on this road.

Oh God, this road you have given us -
What joys, what sorrows;
A life of constant response;
Though mysterious, is not unknown;
Though unpredictable, is not random;
Though challenging, is the road of ease.
Oh God, this road you have given us,

Let us walk it in faith for we will soon come to see:
You were with us all along;
Heaven began before death, before life, before time;
And though this road ends,
You do not end
We do not end
And we come to learn that we were welcomed, always welcomed,
And that welcome never ends.

GLAPA - Gun Liability And Portability Act

Although this is vastly incomplete, it is the first attempt at meaningful legislation that might place a more shared responsibility to gun violence. I am sharinig this in order to get all kinds of feedback. Please be positive whether your comments are supportive of something like this or critical.

I am not really sure what I think of this, but I am just brainstorming creative alternatives to the following:

1. Do nothing.
2. Ban guns.
3. Blame everyone else.

So, here goes:

Liability:

1.      All guns purchased or owned must be registered.

2.      All ammunition purchased or owned must be registered.

3.      Gun possession without registered ownership is illegal.

4.      Gun owners must carry a gun liability insurance policy for every gun they own (similar to auto insurance).

5.      Gun owners must carry their proof of current insurance with them.

6.      Gun owners must disclose all “users” of the gun (like auto insurance).

7.      All disclosed “users” must follow all requirements of GLAPA.

8.      Gun owners must state the intended purpose for each gun owned (hunting, home safety, recreational range shooting etc)

9.      Gun owners must register each owned gun annually (like auto registration).

10.  Gun owners must pass a safety, storage, and use proficiency test on a regular basis (like auto drivers).

11.  Gun owners must renew their liability policy every six months (like auto insurance).

12.  Gun owners be assessed for the following risk factors for each renewal:

a.       Drug (legal, prescription, and illegal) and alcohol use

b.      Stress events (e.g. divorce, job change, etc)

c.       Mental health screening

d.      Criminal background

e.       Other known or suspected risk factors often associated with gun violence.

13.  Gun owners must submit to randomized drug tests in each 6 month period of coverage.

14.  Gun owners must have a complete liability policy in place for 48 hours prior to the purchase of a gun.

15.  No one may operate or handle a gun that is not registered to them or is not a designated “user” of that gun.  

 

Portability:

1.      Gun owners must not transport guns and/or ammunition outside of the stated use (e.g. guns designated home safety should never leave the house).

2.      Guns owners who live in one state, but use their guns and/or in another state must carry policies in both states (like fishing or hunting licenses).

3.      Guns owners who will cross state lines with their guns must notify both states of their transport 48 hours prior to travel.

4.      No one may carry a gun into a designated gun free zone

 

Enforcement:

1.      Law enforcement agents who have reasonable suspicion of any violation of GLAPA may use the same measures law enforcement are permitted to use as spelled out in the Alabama Immigration Law.

2.      Breaking GLAPA is a felony.

3.      Fraudulent claims are subject similar law on insurance fraud

4.      Federally recognized law enforcement and military are exempt from GLAPA while on duty.

Claims:

1.      Victims of gun violence may make a claim against the policy of the gun owner.

2.      Victims must not:

a.       Be engaged in gang violence as a gang member or associate while being shot

b.      Be intentionally or willfully a victim

c.       The victim of suicide or suicide attempt

3.      Claims may include:

a.       medical care costs

b.      mental health care costs

c.       associated damage to property

d.      associated damages such as lost income etc.

e.       funeral costs

4.      The validity of claims will be determined by policy informed and by law (this will have to be very detailed so as to define fraud and prevent abuse).

5.      Claims must be related to the gun violence (pre-existing conditions will not be covered)

Premiums:

1.      Premiums will be set by the following:

a.       Relative risk each type of gun owned based on research

b.      Relative risk of the gun owner PLUS the risk of all disclosed “users” as per the bi-annual risk assessments

c.       Relative of the amount of ammunition owned, purchased or possessed.  

d.      Fair and customary estimated profits for the insuring company.

Social Narratives of Violence and Mental Health

The tragic mass killing at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown Connecticut is both heartbreaking and disturbing. We all ache and share the trauma of this unthinkable event. In the shock and grief, we are filled with questions. Some questions seek facts – what happened? Some questions seek the Divine – where was God? Some questions seek understanding – why did this happen?

In times of such pain and uncertainty we want answers sooner rather than later. We hope that perhaps answers will provide a little balm for the soul-wound we all feel. In our urgency to know, we run the risk of being satisfied with simple and incomplete answers.

Mental illness such a personality disorder and neurocognitive disorders such as Aspergers Syndrome (an Autism Spectrum Disorder) have been discussed extensively in media accounts of the Sandy Hook tragedy. In less formal conversations I have heard people defaulting to saying, “he was crazy.” It understandable to default to mental health answers in our urgency for the relief answers to impossible questions can provide, but we must also consider how these mental health social narratives impact the vast majority of people with mental illness or neurocognitive disorders who are not violent.

If we arrive at the simple conclusion that “he was crazy” or had a mental illness and go no further in our thinking or understanding, then what we have done is to situate anyone with a mental illness as potentially or likely dangerous. It will result in the social construction of stigma creating an environment ripe for discrimination, dismissal, and violence against people who fight daily against mental illness.

In order to help with the conversation about the intersection of violence and mental health, here are some facts:

· "…the vast majority of people who are violent do not suffer from mental illnesses”

(American Psychiatric Association, 1994)

· “People with mental illness are much more likely to be the victim of violence than the perpetrator.” (World Psychiatry. 2003 June; 2(2): 121–124)

In short, people who struggle against mental illness are not to be feared, but rather protected and advocated for. Here are a few tips on helping the conversation of mental health and violence.

1. Avoid simple answers that serve only to soothe our own anxieties, but do little by way of helping.

2. Put unhelpful words like “crazy” out of the social narratives of mass violence.

3. Engage in activities, organizations, and relationships in such a way that promotes the mental, emotional, social, and spiritual health of yourself and everyone around you.

Prayer in Schools

Student led and private student prayer is perfectly legal in 100% of schools in America. I encourage all students who pray to pray.
Pray on the bus to school. Pray between classes. Pray in the lunchroom. Pray before tests (probably already doing that).

Pray for your friends. Pray for those students who you think they think are better than you. Pray for your teachers - even the mean ones. Pray for that lonely student (and befriend her or him). Pray for the janitor. Pray for the hurried principal. Pray for the food service people.
Pray for the aching hearts, angry hearts, broken hearts. Pray for the scattered minds, frayed minds, distracted minds. Pray for the lonely souls, anxious souls, lost souls. Pray for the ostracized and traumatized. Pray for the oppressed and depressed. Pray for the confused and confounded. Pray for the rejected and neglected.
Just pray.

An Open Letter to MFT and Counseling Masters Students: Mental Health and Violence

Dear Graduate MFTs and Counseling Students,

The news of the mass killings in Newton, CT at Sandy Hook Elementary School is heartbreaking and very disturbing. Everyone wants to know answers to the deluge of questions that arise in situations such as these. Some questions are simply factual - what happened? Other questions are theological - where was God? Still other questions are about understanding - why did this happen?

As we ourselves struggle with these and many other questions, I want to encourage you to think through this situation as a mental health professional. You are being trained in such a way that sets you apart from the rest of the population. You are gaining knowledge, insight, and more importantly, a way of understanding the world that is different that the average person. As a mental health professional, you have the responsibility to view events such as these through the lens of mental health.

Why does your understanding matter in situations like these? It matters because you are being trained not merely to treat people who struggle with their mental health, relational health, and spiritual health, but you are an advocate for truth when it comes to mental health.

The way in which stories such as these are reported are generally done without the understanding you have about mental health. Media reports events such as these in such a way as to capture a story. Sadly, the way in which the media capture stories often leaves so much overgeneralization completely uncontested. It could easily be understood from events such as these that mental illness is the cause of violence. There is simply no empirical evidence for such a claim. As a professional, you have the responsibility to speak about the truth of the link between mental health and violence.

Your voice matters in the social narrative of the mental health and violence. Mass violence is a complex issue that has complex origins that cannot and should not be pinned to mental health without a fuller and more robust understanding of how a mass killing could develop.

I would encourage you to think systemically about this event integrating biological, psychological, social, and theological antecedents. Take some time to understand this event. Get your facts straight and be able to talk accurately, coherently, and generously to others about this event and others like it. Defend those who struggle with mental health issues who have no violence in them (which is almost everyone) and help to reduce stigma.

Here are a couple links with some good information on mental health and violence.

Link 1

Link 2

Peace,

Chris

Advent: The Cast

When God came in the flesh, the incarnation could have happened in many different ways. God chose a curious cast of players. Also chosen were some people not to be included.

The religious powers of the day did not even know about God's arrival. The Jewish leaders were oblivious. They were not included in the cast.

The political powers of the day only knew of the arrival of God indirectly through the Magi. And when the political powers learned of the arrival of God in the forma of a baby, there was not disbelief or dismissal - the was fear. Herod decided to kill all babies just in case he missed out killing the God-baby.

The two classes of the most privileged people were ignorant or afraid of the God-baby. Why would God not come to be incarnated in political or religious power and privilege? There is much to be I'd for the way God entered the world. The birth of Jesus anticipated the ministry of Jesus.

So, excluded we're the privileged, but who was included?

Mary is clearly central to the story - a woman. Gender redemption

Joseph was honorable, but of little means. Not enough money or influence to even get a hotel room. Economic redemption.

Shepherds were a motley bunch - a tolerated class. Class redemption.

Magi were not even believers in God. They were most certainly "other" when it came to religion. They were astrologers. And yet God talked to them in a way they understood. God came to them on their terms, but at the same time shared a message that challenged their terms. Religious redemption.

The Magi were also "other" ethnically. Ethnic reconciliation.

So, even in the way in which God came to humans as a human, the goal appears evident that privilege systems developed by humans were not the pathway God chose to use while at the same time, the was significant effort at indicating that the oppressed, the others, the dismissed were to have access. The ministry of Jesus began before his birth.

The cast of Advent anticipated the trajectory of followers over a couple thousand years and thousands of years to come.